So I'm getting close to the end of my finals project, at which time I will try and post on the webternets, since VirTools can be exported to a web document, though you'll have to download a player so that you can explore my VR class project. You know. If you want.

I found out today through a pseudo subtle hint on a picture dad posted on facebook...he is once again unemployed. If anyone knows of any techish Tracy area jobs and would be willing to recommend them to my dad, please do. This is not what my family needs right now. *sighs* I really wish that they didn't have the mortgage to deal with...if they didn't, Dad wouldn't be restricted to NorCal where there are, y'know, no fucking jobs what-so-ever. :( And mom wonders why we didn't look into buying a condo/house. Sure the mortgage payments might be cheaper than rent, but frankly, at the end of four years, who knows where I'll want to be. I really don't want to be tied to Chicago in the long run. As awesome as it sounded at the beginning and sure, by four years from now I'm liable to actually have friends, I really don't know how much I want to stay here forsevers.

So ready for this week to be over. My plans are to spend my winter break learning javascript and CSS3 in an attempt to be a more awesome web designer, and then actually use the webspace I'm paying for at Go-Daddy. Braden has asked me to design a website for his photo stuff and I might try and do some webcommerce stuff again because oh-em-gee do I need something to keep me from sitting at the computer all the fucking time.

Also, so Jessica(I'm pretty damn sure it was and not Mia, but I've been known to be tragically bad at attributing gifts to the appropriate giver)? I love you for last year(the year before mebbe)'s Christmas/Birthday arm warmer thingies. They have made my day-o-VR work so much better by not having ice hands.

There's several inches of snow on the ground right now, and there's supposed to be another ten inches in the next few days. :( I hear even the West Coast is actually seeing snow as well. So much for the mild winter everyone kept talking about.

So I've finally decided that it's time to start writing A Blood Tree again. I need the creative outlet, and have been craving it so badly for so long. And this story has never left my mind, in any of its incarnations, names, and viewpoints. Lyse brought to the forefront with her super awesome birthday present and I can't keep...not doing anything with these kids. I can't decide whether to reveal it as serial fiction or just write it all out and then circulate to folks for beta-ing and catching my bound-to-be-ridiculous typing errors. Definitely not attempting a comic off the back, though I almost want to do certain sections as comic...graphic novel and novel coexisting in one text, maybe.

I've also decided that in a very Tia-fashion, I'm going to resolve the different storylines by not resolving them. I think I'm going to play time-slip and choose your own adventure in one sort of crazy ass universe. Ashley's childhood car crash is/n't a demonic intervention. Ashley loses her shit and goes after Evan and he dies. Ashley does/n't hallucinate that a pillow with wings and a halo is following her. Ashley has Jameson to comfort her and doesn't lose her shit. Evan loses his shit and becomes convinced that his only was to atone is to build the metal wings and we get that hazy, bloody insanity. Evan doesn't have visions of angels, simply mourns and forever feels guilty and meets Thalia. Evan repeats his mistakes, Thalia fucks him up with brass knuckles. Evan learns some shit, and Thalia actually likes him. Once maybe, Zucherro doesn't even die. I'm not sure whether these are going to be interlaced as if you were reading a CYOA straight through instead of following the pages, or each story contained and sequential like that. I fancy the idea of placing the events in chronological order with time slips not even noted so that it's this bewildering multiverse where sometimes people are alive and sometimes they're not.

Though I suppose what it comes down to if if I'm writing this for me, for you all who have heard pieces of each kind of story, or for anyone who reads. It might be a little too Vonnegut in the last incarnation, but that appeals to me in a very deep-seated way.

Thoughts? Particularly about whether or not serial fiction is the way to go for this.

My poor bebeh. Molly's been limping around all morning. Definitely taking her to the vet as soon as I get home from work. Luckily, that doesn't mean after class, just after work because class is done for the semester for VR...though my project is far from complete. :( So much to doooo. And yet, we're still going out for dinner tonight. ^^; Mhm, Lou's.

EDIT: Took Molly (the new kitteh) to the Vet. They x-rayed her paw and it's fractured, so they're splinting it. Which means for my birthday I got a $318 vet bill. :( Not exactly what I was hoping for, but hey, at least Molly is going to be okay.

I really don't want to fail this year at Christmas...so do people want to do some sort of exchange/secret santa thing? We could do art/crafts/anything to stay at a reasonably low price? If you're down, let me know?

In other news, first birthday ever without enough people to have a party?

Thanksgiving gambling was lame. I'm just not into craps, apparently. Tasty food though, and I've realized my uncle is significantly more bitter than I remember.

Sunday was awesome. My cousin Caitie is essentially mini-me. She has not yet learned volume control, which is utterly ridiculous. XD She's 8, and bounced the entire way through dinner.

I think Molly might be sick. :( She hasn't been eating today, as far as I can tell.

Too many assignments to finish before Fizz tonight. :(

I fucking hate networking. It really isn't a subject I'm comfortable with. :( I'm totally failing this assignment, despite the fact that it's a two week assignment that would've maybe made a difference in whether I fail or not. Oh well. Maybe I'll hit office hours or ask the professor if I'm just heading down the wrong path. :( I think the answer is yes.

On the other hand, we've danced three days in a row and are going tonight. I am excited about this and ready to dance some more. It feels like we're finally back in the place we should be. :)

Molly is being a bitch today. :(

I'm glad it's a three day school week. There's so much I have to do in the next two weeks. It's a little intimidating. So of course I'm here, procrastinating, yeah?

http://www.entertainmentearth.com/hitlist.asp?theme=Coraline

Ugh. Of course I find the perfect place to get people presents and the damn website doesn't even have any of the Coraline products. *fist shake*

What kind of person would let me know that there's a blog based on essentially, mspaint? I mean, it's SO oekaki without half the useful tools. The one thing I crave is a paint bucket tool, but still. leesers is such a whore. XD I mean I love her very much for doing this to me. (I wasted me entire day today on this and the picture of Artie from Glee because I can't be bothered to do work when I have a temptation like that in front of me.)

So I'm totally going to do live action fan art and at some point later doodle OCs, but this may become a daily requirement for me, even if doodling with a mouse again sucks. I feel so reminiscent though. Reminds me of middle school in a fond way. Also, for the record, that is the outfit I'm wearing right now. That's how dweeby I am. But you guys should join. So we can doodle together about things. Image is a link to my profile so you can totally join from there.

In other news, as far as towns go, Detroit sucks. The exchange wasn't horrible...in fact it was fun, but still. Detroit is not a city I have any interest in revisiting. XD

So I'm being lazy for Halloween. We're going to what is apparently a "massive" corn maze. Braden is going as a "real adult" which is just you know, the best costume ever. (He's wearing his interview clothes and his big wool coat and the nice scarf and hat my mom made him. I'm not sure about the wisdom of wearing his only interview appropriate clothes to a muddy corn maze, but hey. He's a grown up. He can make these choices. XD) I'm going as a scene kid, because that's how lazy I am. I'm going to buy some black spray-on hair dye and eye-liner later and make my cry-shield particularly prominent. And wear my hot-topic mini-skirt over a pair of jeans and wear Braden's sweatshirt because it's sooo scenekid.

I like how without the hair dye though, I would totally wear this outfit a year or two ago. The miniskirt is a bit of an indoor skirt these days(ahem) so it's fun to wear it outside again. Though it hurts me to know when I bought it was two or three sizes too big and now it just fits. :(

Speaking of my giant ass...ugh. I'm getting to the point where I want to give up on having an "exercise routine" and just buy new clothes that fit. I go in and out of phases about how I look and if I like that or not. Mostly I hate how my pants feel on me and want to fix that and the easy way to fix that is buy clothes that fit. ._. But if I do that, it really is permission to not work out and *explode.* Do I care? I don't know. I want to be healthy. I just don't know if I am already. 

I think I have a direction for my next tattoo. So I may have mentioned that someone in my family was once able to successfully trace our lineage back to Mary Shelley, grandmother of Steam-punk. So now I just have to figure out what sort of device/steampunk creation I'm going to sport on my bicep. I'm thinking of maybe getting it for my 22nd birthday. Yay Tasia for mentioning steampunk sparrows and tattoos and everything awesome ever in her lj. I've known I wanted another one for so long, and it's satisfying to have an idea of what.

I went of Erikson's Office Hours and I feel so much better about the homework assignment. Bash programming is new to me, but very satisfying in the immediate sense of the answers. I need to finish the assignment yet, but it's also very satisfying to know I don't have to bring the eee if I need future assistance. Back to C programming next week he said, but still. If I stay on top of the rest of the homework assignments, I can replace my shitty first exam with homeworks, and by continuing to study my ass off, I KNOW I will do much better on the second midterm. There's simply no way I will not improve my score. So maybe I can still pull a solid grade off in this class, and I know better now what is required of me.

I've been reading too many texts on social injustices/the great divide in computer science/mathematics/the world. I really think in some ways that I should reconsider my never-working-in-high-schools decision. It seems to be a place where kids get fucked over by teachers who don't know what computer science is teaching them that typing or even programming is computer science. CS is so much richer and more interesting than that, and the extent to which the confidence of students is utterly obliterated by how CS is taught today...it frightens me. At the same time, while you affect many individuals by teaching in individual classrooms, there has got to be an effective way of changing the system. The completely broken education system. Hm. SNAFU, I guess.

I need to find a way to balance my studies with art again. I feel frustrated that I started a painting before we left Stockton and it's still sitting unchanged in the apartment. I have this bizarre obsession with temporal art right now. A couple of live concerts we went to created this impulse to capture movement and the heart of dancing and that need to move around. I don't know how to capture that on paper or canvas. I really feel like I should be doing chalk drawings on the sidewalk and snapping pictures before the rain comes again. I just haven't bought the chalk yet, I think. In some ways, making the product temporary seems like it would satisfy my own bizarre constraints.

Um. So I guess I had things to say today. Weird. :)

I got a letter in the mail from Jessica Chambers today. It made me smile! I need to go get some amazing  stationary so I can get back on my pen-palling duties.

I've been doing a mediocre job of being on top of homework, which is bad. But I've been studying pretty hardcore despite the lack of assignment doing so there is that. I'm going to office hours to hopefully work through whatever bumps I don't resolve tomorrow. 

The router we bought failed to power on, which was bizarre and unfortunate. So it'll be back to microcenter we go at some point in the near future. Maybe as our walk after dinner after Braden finishes his quiz.

I've been reading Unlocking the Clubhouse, which is sort of /the/ text on why women weren't in computer science ten years ago. Tragically, it's actually been declining since 1980. The field isn't evening out, apparently. The thing that confuses me is that despite this, I've had a relatively high encounter rate with female CS professors. I really struggle with whether this has to do with my gender's classic orientation to information. It makes me want to resist teaching in some ways, just to push the boundaries. But then, female professors = female role models for students. Gah. It troubles me how much I think about this.

I wonder if HCI is really what I want to study or if I want to apply gender studies to computers. This obsession is somewhat bizarre. Maybe because up until 10, I was all dolls and dresses and barbies and pink and all of that, and about the time we moved here, I switched it to scooters, skateboards, wanting a drum kit, and gradually becoming less traditionally feminine. The longer I was with Shawn, the more back towards that path I wandered, and have bounced hard core. Except I still clean the house and what not in the relationship with Braden. (Because otherwise it wouldn't happen. At all. You all know this. And because somewhere around 20 I decided I hated living in a mess.) But seriously. WTF. No idea where this is going, by the way.

Just two more months until the visit home. Yay!

Guys, I like Windows 7. A lot, even. It's weird. It's actually fast. Microsoft has done something right and I don't know how to handle it.

Also, I <3 my new computron.

We're going to see Toy Story/Toy Story 2 and eat at the closest Mimi's Cafe today in celebration. :) Also, bought my tickets home today, so I'll be in Tracy from December 21-27. My mom wants to have a party on the 26th...who will be in town then? I'd really like to at least catch up with folks if possible, even if a party isn't a real option, but let me know. I'm definitely going up to Sac at least one night for dancing, even though Braden won't be up until the 24th due to work. :(

Oh man. So widescreen monitors are crazy. CRAZY I say. XD

Got a 11/30 on my first test for networking. I'm frustrated and sad. I'm going to bust ass to fix this. Hopefully. I may not be getting such an awesome score for my first semester at grad school. At least VR is awesome and exciting and I'm passionately interested about it. I picked networking under the malformed opinion that I might need it somehow. Gah. Horrible choice. *dies a little*

I think I'm committed to this graduate school thing. I'm not ready to freak out. It's just time to buckle down. Blah.

I can see! Also, not have to keep compressing my frames to avoid the lens falling out. Yay! I do have a more pro-looking pair that's essentially the same as my old frames but a bit rounder, but these are my day-to-day-don't-need-to-look-like-a-real-grown-up-glasses.



Also, I need to dye my hair and cut it again. I'm totally not okay with the way it lays in the back. My new glasses are frakking epic though. You can't tell too well from the picture, but the frames are white with green concentric circles. Oh yes.

We beat U of Chicago 27-0. I didn't get to play, but clearly that means that I haven't showed that I wanted it enough. So I'm just going to keep practicing hard and working out on my own. The after-game party resulted in me being quite drunk and sobering up and getting quite drunk and then sobering up. We started drinking at 4 in the afternoon and didn't really stop until about midnight, though there was about an hour in between in which we were in transit since UofC had to kick us out and we went back to Rena's place to keep drinking. Braden was adorably drunk and kept forgetting things we mentioned. And we drunk dialed Papita. I have a pretty solid recollection of the evening, being as beer isn't all that great by my count.

Waiting impatiently for the rest of my computer to show up this morning. ._. The monitor and case showed up Friday, and the rest of the shipment is expected today. I'm just going to stay home until it shows up to avoid having to carry everything back on the CTA from the UPS depot. It arrived in Chicago at 5am, so hopefully it'll get here before I would've had to leave for class. Depends where on the route I am. Gives me time to clean the house I suppose.

We lost to Loyolla on Saturday. :( If we win every other game though, we might get to play off against them again at the end of the season. So here's to that. University of Chicago is this Saturday. (Shortish trip for an away game, but it is an away game.)


OMG furnitures!

We can has a bed! And a headboard that took forever! We still need to assemble the bookcase and the kitchen storage thingajig, but then we're essentially done shopping. We just have to figure out how to ship the rest of our stuff out so we can use the couch and what not that we already have. :) Bizzow!

Can someone please just wake me up when the money problems stop and things get normalized?

Braden found out this morning while trying to buy breakfast that somehow magically both the bounced rent check and the new one just written went through this morning. What? Either Peak Properties is retarded or TCF is...I'm not sure which at all. Trying to get a hold of Peak right now, but I just transferred from my account to Braden's account so that he wouldn't get fined for another bounced check or whatever. *frustrated* I'm so sick of this shit. I really would like to be in the position that has me not playing the check game.

Tried to buy the components for my new computer from newegg last night. I would like a computer that I can do whatever I'd like to it soon. That would be nice. *grumbles*

Good news though. Lots of working out between rugby and everything else has me feeling better about myself. I might even weigh myself next time I go to the gym with Jen.

Also, I did manage to get my cleats and rugby socks, so I'll finally be close to being fully on the team. Just got to sign up with usarugby at school so I can print the confirmation letter and get a photocopy of my card. Big game on Saturday morning and all.

Please let this one last rent check fiasco be the end of this crap? I'd like for things to start going smoothly now.

So how is it that seeing Regina Spektor live fed my obsession instead of tallying it down a bit given that we didn't get close to her or anything? *Listening to a gigantic Spektor playlist* Did you guys know that she did a song with the Strokes? Cause I didn't. This woman writes the world and I am fascinated by her.

Financial aid finally came through, though it was short a grand. I'm trying to find out why that is the case. Hopefully I'll get an email back soon, if not, I'll make a phone call tomorrow and be like...wtf? Again. Because. Seriously. Pay me. My money. So much of it already has been designated for various things. Like a bed. And getting our stuff out here. Stop failing UIC. :P

But we got to go dancing last night and it was awesome and it made me very happy that apparently ibuprofen and a shower is all that needs to happen inbetween for me to be able to dance for two hours after two hour long rugby practice. I am such a bad ass.

Man, man, man, I wish they were showing House like...on time, rather than waiting until next week to post on Hulu. I really don't want to know anything about it until I watch it.

Agh! I just wrote a post about how amazing Regina is and stupid keyboard having a stupid back a page button. *cries* It was amazing though. She played everything I wanted to hear except Your Honor and she is gorgeous and I could see her red lipstick from the tenth row back of the main floor. The Chicago Theater is gorgeous. I'm so blessed to have a friend like Mia who found the bestest show but ever. :P Though I am a bit spoiled by AFP's like, two and a half hour sets. Regina's set was an hour with a fifteen minute encore. :( More more more Reginaaa. It was fantastic.

Just a few more days of being broke, and then money and then no more of this weeks without dancing bullshit.

I wish I could sleep like Braden does on the weekends. I feel like I need twelve hours of sleep, but after eight, I'm pretty much done laying in bed. Bah. Some day I'll learn the secret. :)

OMGIGETTOSEEREINASPEKTORTONIGHT!

And I looked up where the tickets are. They're on the main floor? OHMYGODMIA. I love you. So much. I will only force you to see my children on rare occassion so you don't hate them. And send you lovins. And things that are at least this cool at some point. Mind melt!

Though I failed to make shirts. Too little time to do so now, at least to have them dry enough to wear. I suspect that doesn't matter as much as it would if there was a chance we would get close enough to her to get her autograph. (Also, omfg, if I do manage to stay for anything like an autograph, I will probably have to be extracted from the venue. I will be far more stupefied than when Neil Gaiman signed our stuffins. Because Regina Spektor omg.)

We saw 9 last night, which was dumb financially speaking. It had all the pieces of a great movie except for a non-captivating story. There really isn't character development. It's utterly and entirely BEAUTIFUL and the design of the world is stunning. But...it's like setting a movie in Yosemite and not really having anything happen. It's gorgeous, visually captivating and utterly non-involving. I liked it, but given my general tendency to enjoy things thoroughly or not at all, I'm disappointed by 9.

I am however utterly entranced by the second trailer to Where The Wild Things Are. I absolutely will see that film. It might make me cry. It looks so good. And Toy Story/ Toy Story 2 are being released as a double feature in 3D. I'm totally going to see it. XD

The Bristol Renaissance Faire was delightfully Renaissance Faire like. There were painfully few options for non-cash food and we spent money we oughtn't have so as not to starve.

It's just a little over a week until Braden gets paid, and up to nine days until I have money again. We don't quite have food to make it that far, but we'll get pretty close and might be able to get away with an eensy shopping trip in between. Hopefully. I feel very uncomfortable right now and would very much like to throttle the tuition waiver system. Why the hell did no one inform me that it would be mid-September? I would've requested a bit more in loans just to make living less frightening. *frustrated* Soon I'll get paid and be less broke, but my patience is wearing thinner every time my loaner laptop shits itself. I'm so anxious to have my own PC. And a chair to sit at. A table to work on. An awesome bed. I just want to be able to enjoy my time at home.

There's rugby practice tonight. It's "optional" and likely to include drinking, apparently. I really want to find out if I'm going to be allowed to play on that team or if I have to walk up to the grad student team. Which...I don't know. They didn't have any new girls joining their team. I get the idea that they might be more serious and less accepting of an out of shape newb like me. Maybe I'm just paranoid. I'll find out soon enough. And also be exhausted. It took two days for me to recover from Thursday, so I'm terrified of the practice on Monday followed by the practice on Tuesday. Especially because Jen who is a bad ass neuroscience-PhD/ computer science MS student is trying to get me to go work out at the student rec center. I'm like "I'll probably only be able to do upper body strength training durdurdur" But it means I'll never be not sore kids. Never ever! Especially if Braden and I start dancing soon. (Though during the week I find that doubtful. It would mean sacrificing sleep for dancing on  Braden's part and that seems...unlikely. Which is unfortunate. Apparently the best dance scene is a Monday evening spot that we haven't visited yet. Boo.)

Getting a letter in the mail made me smile like a madwoman. Yay adorable kitties. :)

Dudes, I'm totally joining the women's rugby club at UIC. Tomorrow? is the first practice, so um, please hope me not to die. (Or break my glasses. Or bust a lip.)

In other news, Amber got us a Hello Kitty toaster and it toasts in the shape of Hello Kitty. I love it very much and it makes me squee a bunch and I have pictures that I'll show you later. It's amazing.